****SIGH**** I need a fairy Godmother!
Yes this is how I feel at the moment, well actually its how I've felt for the last like month or so... School is kicking my butt like I never thought it could!!! I don't know how the heck I'm going to make it through 3 more semesters!!! But I gotta! Ha! There is SOOO much to becoming a teacher, its unbelievable. I don't think I've been more stressed out in my life then I feel right now. Between school, work, my family, Chris and his family and me time I pretty much don't have much of anything but school, work and family (Chris' and mine)!!! I think wanting to cry at least once a day is a given these days! Ugh!!
Its one of those things that kind of makes you feel kinda out of the loop on things, like you have lost yourself... you have two goals in life.... one you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, its right there, in reach, just takes a TON of hard work. The other... well sometimes it seems as though it is right there, getting closer, but then other times, most of the time, it seems so far away, practically nonexistent. And you wonder if you are wasting your time... your energy. These two goals are both so important to me, and I want more then anything for them both to happen, one is semi-easily achievable, the other, well not so easy and I can't really achieve it on my own, which is the other stinky part.
Sometimes I don't feel like I can make it, that the goal is so far away and takes so much work that I just don't know if I will be any good at it, if I will be able to do it. I guess we will find out, huh! I heard this song on the radio the other day, its a new song by one of my favorite artists and I want SO badly to play it everyday around me, so that people will know how I feel. Well I know people know how I feel, but sometimes I just don't know what to think, some days I feel good about it, and others I just want to scream "I'M TIRED!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER!!!!" But then I think there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel eventually right...?!
Ugh!!! A year and a half, thats all I have to last... just a little longer. I sure hope I can do it... its not easy, but I'm going to hold strong until I get it done!!! There are a few things that I would love to do this year, and hopefully they get done... but we will just have to wait and see if it all happens! I pray that my goals are achieved and that all of my wildest dreams come true!!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Choose Class
Life could not be any more busy then one would want. I have been sick for the last 2 weeks and am finally feeling better... minus the fact that the awesome (really really really TERRIBLE) cough that I have had for about a week now has popped out a few ribs and I am in tons of pain all day, well until I go see the chiropractor tomorrow. I'm a bit scared, because I'm in so much pain, but I've popped a rib before and he fixed it in an instant! Woohoo!!! Love him! ha! :)
But life is pretty crazy right now, between being sick, early morning school and late night work I thought I might die! But now that I am feeling better I think it'll be tons better! School isn't too bad, I'm going on my 3rd week and I think I'm getting more excited, either that or more stressed out ha! The one thing that is pretty cool about school is that I have all the same people in all of my classes, so we're all already friends! So thats nice and fun!
Work is ok... its not too fun when your sick, but it's not terrible. The working till 7pm every night is a huge difference from what I am used to. I still just really wish that I had my old job, my personal assistant job... when I made $15/hr, could take whenever I needed off and pretty much was my own boss sorta. Ugh... I think about it and it makes me wanna cry, I'm making practically nothing and if I need a day off I have to try and find someone to cover for me... which so far hasn't been the easiest thing. I REALLY hate it.... it stresses me out, because I think of all the trips I wanna do... St George with Chris and our friends... Vegas.... California.... Cruise.... Bear Lake.... Ugh! It just stresses me out and makes me really sad. I don't really know why I lost my job, I mean I do, the company downsized... but I don't know why I had to loose my job.. does that make sense?I just felt so much more secure in that job... made good money and knew that no matter what my boss was 100% willing to work with me, whether it be that I was sick or I needed time to do homework or just needed a day off! Its all just really sucky! Ugh, all I gotta do is make it through these next 2 years and I'll be able to be a teacher! Sometimes I wonder if I've made mistakes in my path.... do you ever feel that way? I mean I know I have definitely made some mistakes in my life.. but I just wonder if I should have left my old job to take the personal assistant job.. I mean I had been there for 3 years... I wasn't going anywhere.. ugh! Man I dont like this feeling of not knowing. Luckily I have some great parents that help me out when I needed it and a great boyfriend who has been great through the whole process. Even though I know it stresses him out that I don't have the best job....
Do you think or look at me like an adult? Because sometimes I don't feel like I am... sometimes I feel like people look at me like I'm a teenager still... maybe it has something to do with the fact that I look like I'm 16, ha! But really... Idk... I think that maybe I'm just having one of those days.
But life is pretty crazy right now, between being sick, early morning school and late night work I thought I might die! But now that I am feeling better I think it'll be tons better! School isn't too bad, I'm going on my 3rd week and I think I'm getting more excited, either that or more stressed out ha! The one thing that is pretty cool about school is that I have all the same people in all of my classes, so we're all already friends! So thats nice and fun!
Work is ok... its not too fun when your sick, but it's not terrible. The working till 7pm every night is a huge difference from what I am used to. I still just really wish that I had my old job, my personal assistant job... when I made $15/hr, could take whenever I needed off and pretty much was my own boss sorta. Ugh... I think about it and it makes me wanna cry, I'm making practically nothing and if I need a day off I have to try and find someone to cover for me... which so far hasn't been the easiest thing. I REALLY hate it.... it stresses me out, because I think of all the trips I wanna do... St George with Chris and our friends... Vegas.... California.... Cruise.... Bear Lake.... Ugh! It just stresses me out and makes me really sad. I don't really know why I lost my job, I mean I do, the company downsized... but I don't know why I had to loose my job.. does that make sense?I just felt so much more secure in that job... made good money and knew that no matter what my boss was 100% willing to work with me, whether it be that I was sick or I needed time to do homework or just needed a day off! Its all just really sucky! Ugh, all I gotta do is make it through these next 2 years and I'll be able to be a teacher! Sometimes I wonder if I've made mistakes in my path.... do you ever feel that way? I mean I know I have definitely made some mistakes in my life.. but I just wonder if I should have left my old job to take the personal assistant job.. I mean I had been there for 3 years... I wasn't going anywhere.. ugh! Man I dont like this feeling of not knowing. Luckily I have some great parents that help me out when I needed it and a great boyfriend who has been great through the whole process. Even though I know it stresses him out that I don't have the best job....
Do you think or look at me like an adult? Because sometimes I don't feel like I am... sometimes I feel like people look at me like I'm a teenager still... maybe it has something to do with the fact that I look like I'm 16, ha! But really... Idk... I think that maybe I'm just having one of those days.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
2011
Well it had been a VERY long time since I have blogged, so I thought I would update the world! :)
Well the rest of 2010 was great! ha...
This year so far has been really good, I lost my job in the Summer of 2010 so that stunk but then I found a nannying job. Well the mom was CRAZY! I was sick with the flu one day and the mom fired me over text.. pretty lame! But oh well...
I started school again in January, I'm in my last two years of school, so I started the bachelors program and let me tell you it is INTENSE!!! For two of my classes I have to have a blog to write responses on... so I thought I should probably update my first blog too! Um, lets see.... Chris' best friend Dan got married in November and my best friend Steph got married just yesterday! So that is exciting! Chris and I got another dog, his name is Shadow. He is the same dog as Alice, Mini Australian Shepherd, but he is a black tri. He is the complete opposite of Alice. He is calm and timid and quiet and cuddly! We think that he was abused at his first home but he is such a sweetheart! And we love him! Alice loves having a friend to play with too! Lets see.... I can't really think of anything else to write! ha!!!
Oh I did get a job at Lifetime fitness in the Child Care. It pays terrible, but I get a free membership and its a pretty ok job! So I'm not complaining. But ya, I think thats about it... I will definitely try to keep this thing updated, at least once a month ha!!
Well the rest of 2010 was great! ha...
This year so far has been really good, I lost my job in the Summer of 2010 so that stunk but then I found a nannying job. Well the mom was CRAZY! I was sick with the flu one day and the mom fired me over text.. pretty lame! But oh well...
I started school again in January, I'm in my last two years of school, so I started the bachelors program and let me tell you it is INTENSE!!! For two of my classes I have to have a blog to write responses on... so I thought I should probably update my first blog too! Um, lets see.... Chris' best friend Dan got married in November and my best friend Steph got married just yesterday! So that is exciting! Chris and I got another dog, his name is Shadow. He is the same dog as Alice, Mini Australian Shepherd, but he is a black tri. He is the complete opposite of Alice. He is calm and timid and quiet and cuddly! We think that he was abused at his first home but he is such a sweetheart! And we love him! Alice loves having a friend to play with too! Lets see.... I can't really think of anything else to write! ha!!!
Oh I did get a job at Lifetime fitness in the Child Care. It pays terrible, but I get a free membership and its a pretty ok job! So I'm not complaining. But ya, I think thats about it... I will definitely try to keep this thing updated, at least once a month ha!!
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